


unhealed scars, reopened wounds

by thefifthchris



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: A Zutara fic by someone who does not ship Zutara, Aged-Up Characters, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambassador Sokka, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Past Aang/Katara (Avatar), Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Political Alliances, Sokka & Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, has anyone used AANGst before, im terrible, no beta we die like jet, stinky politics getting in the way of love, these tags have sokka crackhead energy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24598159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefifthchris/pseuds/thefifthchris
Summary: Time stopped then. There were no fire lords or waterbenders in the dark, just them.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 86





	unhealed scars, reopened wounds

**Author's Note:**

> My friend watched ATLA for the first time, so I wrote this Zutara fic for her! I personally don't ship Zuko with anything besides self care uwu, but I enjoyed writing this a lot. This work is relatively unpolished, so if there are errors, I apologize in advance! I haven't written fanfic in a while (so sorry to those of you still waiting on Burnt Stars), but I hope you enjoy!

Azula’s lightning filled Zuko’s veins, traveling from fingertip to fingertip, looping around the cavity of his ribcage. It was different from Ozai’s electricity, which was clustered and dark with malice like a knot of storm clouds. Different too from his sister’s typical prodigious way of fire-bending: calculated and immaculate. Her lightning was erratic, crackling with power between her fingertips, filling the air with the sharp smell of ozone. It was frenzied and angry and desperate. And Zuko knew desperate better than anyone.

As Azula’s eyes had shifted towards Katara, Zuko was already running, fingers pointed, to intercept. There was a calmness in his mind despite the terror. A sort of resigned acceptance that it was always going to end like this, just like how it started - with an Agni Kai, with pain, with the raw feeling that he had a destiny to fill. When it hit, the lightning didn’t travel cleanly, but clung to the marrow of Zuko’s bones as it passed. Pain sluiced through his chest as he attempted to redirect it, only for the hatred and madness in Azula’s power to overfill and burst within him, yolk spilling from an egg. There was a scream, a clap of thunder, and Zuko was on his back, paralyzed by the pain. The familiar smell of his burnt flesh rose to the red sky like smoke. Sharp agony laced every breath. His old scar throbbed. It was always going to end like this.

Distantly, Zuko registered the fight continuing. Water slipping against the iron grates and gold tile. The sound of ice freezing, of water surging, of chains hitting the ground as gravity reclaimed it. His sister’s mad taunts and laughter turning into wails.His place in this destiny was over.Above, the heat and sparks of blue flames against a red palace and red sky continued. Azula had never been made for this place, and as Zuko’s own life guttered low like the wisp of a candle flame, maybe he wasn’t either.The earth would be wiped clean of Fire Lord, Prince, and Princess. A fitting end to the Fire Nation and all of its pain. He closed his eyes.

Then, relief. It suckled the pain, filling the space with the same warm feeling of rain against hot pavement, of ice sliding across skin in the summer.

In the next blink, Katara was kneeling over him. The edges of her robes were singed, but she otherwise looked unharmed. Dark hair loose around her shoulders. Blue eyes clear and blown wide with adrenaline. Her hands against his bare chest.

“Shut up,” she said as soon as Zuko opened his mouth to speak. Her shoulders sagged with relief. Tears gathered at the rims of her eyes like dew. “Just shut up.”

Memories flipped through Zuko’s mind, of the night in Ba Sing Se, of ice shards in the air, of mercy. Even as relief spilled through his body, he could still feel the lightning fizzling at his core, eating away at him. Azula was never one to lose easily. Zuko likely wouldn’t make it through the night. The words still needed to be said. “Thank you, Katara.”

Katara looked away. Her eyes focused on healing even as Azula sent arcs of blame flame in the sky, splitting the air with heat and her cries. She swallowed. “That was stupid of you, Zuko.”

“What? The Agni Kai or the -“ he winced as Katara pressed her hands more firmly against the wound. “-lightning?”

“Both.”

“We won though, right?” The corner of Zuko’s lips quirked up. “Wouldn’t exactly be honorable of me to let you die in my place.”

Katara leveled him with a glare. “You’re going to be fine. We can’t have our new Fire Lord giving up so easily.”

“Uncle would make a better Fire Lord anyway,” Zuko mumbled. The pain was nearly gone now, replaced with a numb sort of emptiness in his chest. The moon was yellow and swollen in the sky, washing the crimson roofs in gold. His mother had loved nights like this in the palace. “I’m tired, Katara.”

Katara put her hands on either side of his face, directing his attention to her. “Don’t you dare fall asleep on me, Zuko. I fixed the physical damage, but your chi is all misaligned. The firehealers will be here soon.”

The moonlight caught the whites of her eyes. Waterbenders were at their most powerful at night. Zuko wondered if that had anything to do with the way he found himself nodding in agreement.

“Good.” Katara said. Her expression softened. “We need all of us to make it for a win, you know that right?”

Cousin Lu Ten. Soldiers sacrificed for military advancements. The Refugees in the Earth Kingdom, living off of scraps and violence and fear. Katara’s mother. _Zuko’s_ mother. Zuko propped himself up slowly, leaning his weight on one elbow. “War’s not so kind, Katara.”

“I know that better than anyone. That doesn’t change the fact that Aang would be devastated to know your Highness kicked the bucket because I couldn’t stop him from taking a nap.”

“Just Aang?”

“Maybe Sokka.”

“I’ll have you know Sokka and I are basically best friends now.”

“Don’t let Momo hear you say that,” Katara teased. Zuko was close enough to see the laughter in her eyes. A short silence fell between them. “But I won’t let you die so easily, Fire Lord Zuko,”

“Not Fire Lord yet.” With Azula still bellowing flames, Lo and Li had yet to come down and officiate the ending of the Agni Kai.

“No,” Katara agreed, her eyes bright with moonlight. “Not yet.”

Clouds rolled in the sky slowly. Not the dark gathering of a storm, nor the haphazard summoning of lightning. For just a moment, they covered the moon, plunging the Fire Nation palace in a palette of muted colors. The only light came from the flames flickering in lanterns, from the battle still blazing through the sky, from the reflections of both in Katara’s blue eyes. Time stopped then. There were no fire lords or waterbenders in the dark, just them.

So if Katara had leaned in then, Zuko rising to meet her - well, not even Yue would have known to look away.

* * *

**5 Years Later**

“Agni,” Zuko groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You know, maybe Uncle really should have taken up the throne.” He slapped his palm against the wooden desk in frustration, rustling the files. “I am _this_ close to burning away every piece of paperwork.”

“Sounds like a you problem,” Sokka said, laughing from where he lounged on the couch in Zuko’s office. “Poor wittle Fire Lord Zuko. Stopping a war only for paperwork? Peace has too high a cost.”

Zuko sent a withering glare at the ambassador. “When’s the next Sozin’s comet?”

“Uh. 95 years from now?”

“Good. I’ll stay alive that long just to raze every boomerang production line from existence.”

“Alright yeesh. Someone’s more miserable than usual.” Sokka unfolded himself from the couch. The years since the war had been good to him - filling in lanky limbs with lithe muscles. His warrior’s wolf tail had grown longer, and the beginnings of a goatee had begun to straggle through. “I would have thought you’d at least be happy on the anniversary of your coronation.”

Zuko wrinkled his nose. “I’m never happy. And the coronation party means _socializing_. Last year, Lo and Li tried pushing every unmarried Fire Nation noble to dance with me. Agni, I was hiding out in the restroom all night.”

“You are getting on in your years dude.”

“I’m twenty one.”

“With no heir apparent? The Fire Nation’s doomed if you eat one bad turtle-dillo” Sokka poked at one of the gold figurines on Zuko’s shelf. “Is this supposed to be me? I’m way better looking than this!”

“Sokka, it looks exactly like you,” Zuko said, shuffling through the files. Another fan mail. He signed it quickly and tossed it into the growing pile of responses. This was getting out of hand. “And stop touching those. They’re expensive.”

“No, no.” Sokka said, squinting at the figurine as he held it close to his face. “Your Fire Nation artists just don’t know how to capture the essence of a warrior.” He put it back, and scratched the back of his neck with his boomerang. Old habits died hard. “I have to finish talking about the treaty with one of your borderland nobles. I’ll see you at the party then, Sifu Hotman.”

“Can’t wait,” Zuko drawled, sighing. “It was good seeing you, Sokka.”

“You too man.” Sokka paused at the doorway, one hand parting the red silk that divided Zuko’s office from the rest of the palace. “Katara’ll be there tonight by the way. You should talk to her.”

Sokka left, leaving Zuko frozen in his seat. He reread a line five times before carefully slipping the file back into the stack of papers on his desk. The dusk light drew gold slants of light across his office, long as shadows on the tiled floor and warm against Zuko’s back.

* * *

Katara and Aang entered the party with arms linked together. They were always quite the sight: Avatar, dressed in layers of bright orange and yellow, and the Master of the Souther Water Tribe, draped in dark blue silk. A year of awkward and tentative courtship that ended anticlimactically didn’t negate their half a decade’s worth of friendship, nor did it take away from their combined might as two of the strongest benders in the room. The other two being, of course, Toph, who entered behind them in a full suit of metal armor, and Zuko, fire insignia shining gold in his dark hair as he talked to one of the foreign diplomats. Katara didn’t miss the line of young nobles fixing their hair and uniforms as they waited to talk to their young lord.

 _He looks good_ , Katara noted. In the five years since they last talked, since they last addressed the small feeling between them, Zuko’s hair had grown long, now spilling dark and silken down his back. Of course, they’ve caught glimpses of each other during diplomatic meetings and ceremonies, but working to rebuild the world in opposite sides of the continent meant talk was efficient and political. The world’s eyes were on all of them. And yet, even from across the room, Katara could see the way Zuko’s eyes flared gold and familiar as he turned. The fire lining the room flared up to the ceiling for just a moment.

“Master Aang, Master Katara, Master Toph,” Zuko said,striding towards them. He bowed at the waist, hands positioned in the Fire Nation salute. When he looked up, he smiled and dipped his head once more. “And of course, Momo.”

“Fire Lord Zuko,” Aang said as they bowed back. Katara didn’t need to look to know there was a wide grin on his face. He detangled his arm from Katara’s and pulled the Fire Lord into a hug. The guards stiffened from behind Zuko, but who was going to enforce court etiquette on the Avatar? “It’s good to see you!”

“You too, Aang.” Zuko said, and the tension that had lined his shoulders seemed to ease.

Toph snorted. “Drama queens. It’s only been a month since the last summit you two saw each other at.” She punched him the arm before drawing Zuko in a hug as well. “But it’s also been too long since we’ve all been together, no thanks to Sugar Queen back there.” Toph jerked a thumb back at Katara.

Katara flushed. “ _Some_ of us have a whole lifetime of benders to make up for, Toph.” Rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe and nurturing new waterbenders had been grueling but rewarding work. Though five years since they were all in the same room…maybe Katara was more a coward than she thought. “But you’re right - its really been too long.”

She stepped forward and tiptoed to loop her arms around Zuko’s shoulders. His arms circled Katara hesitantly from behind. Toph rolled her eyes.

“Alright now that we got the mushy stuff out of the way - mind pointing me to where the foods at? I’m starving.”

“I’ll take you,” Aang said, looking around the room nervously. The crowd of nobles kept their eyes on the group, ready to swoop in to ask for political favors. It was easy to forget he was still only seventeen. “You think less people will ask me to airbend for them if I’m next to you?”

“Don’t count on it twinkletoes, but you’re with a Bei Fong.” Toph said, jabbing a finger at her chest. Her bangs swayed with the motion. “They’ll think twice about bullying you into an international incident.”

Their conversation blended into the crowd as they walked off, leaving Katara and Zuko alone. The line of young nobles itched to force their way in, but Katara’s respected position gave her a little more time to just talk.

“You look…well,” Zuko offered. Katara swallowed her laughter - even as Fire Lord, Zuko’s awkwardness was unparalleled.

“You too.” Katara grinned and nudged her shoulder towards the waiting courters. “Busy looking for your Fire Lady?”

“Not you too,” Zuko groaned, but he huffed out a laugh. “Vultures, all of them. I can’t go two feet without someone asking me if I’d like to go out on the balcony with them.”

Katara raised an eyebrow. “Is going out on the balcony the only date a Fire Lord can get these days?”

“Not exactly easy to get out of the palace when most of the world isn’t ready to forgive the Fire Nation.” He rubbed his chest and winced. As Zuko surveyed the room, looking from the different diplomats, he continued, “Not that I blame them. We have a long way to make any sort of reparations.”

“Is your wound still bothering you?” Katara asked, narrowing her eyes at the hand that massaged his chest. Five years should have been more than enough to realign his chi.

Zuko blinked, and jerked his hand away as thought caught. “No. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine if you can still feel it after its healed.”

“It’s just a scar, Katara.”

“I told you - I healed all the physical damage the night of the Agni Kai. Let me see it.”

The tips of Zuko’s ears turned red as Katara started to open his robe. “Not - not _here_.”

“I’m a healer.” Katara said bluntly. “And it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. What do you have to be embarrassed about?”

“I…I can’t afford to show the scar here.” Zuko said, looking around the room once more. “It’s different than when we were at the Agni Kai. I wasn’t Fire Lord yet. Any of the nobles here would jump on weakness I show to discredit me in my campaigns.”

Katara blinked. “Your bloodline is to the throne,” she said. “In the Water Tribe, its enough that Sokka and I are the Chief’s children to mean we inherit his position. That isn’t enough to solidify your reign?”

Zuko shook his head. “Some of the older generals are still resentful. And our court is nothing if not based on power. Look around us.” He gestured to the plumes of fire around them, and tightened his fist, letting them surge to the ceiling. “All for show, but its meant to show strength. I’ll let you look at the scar later.”

Later could mean after the party or another five years. Katara eyes darted from Zuko, his guards, and the balcony, where it was empty, the white curtains billowing into the ballroom.

“Fine.” She grabbed Zuko’s wrists and dragged him towards the balcony, ignoring the surprised “ _Katara-_ ” behind her. She pushed him onto the balcony and spun to address his guards, who had followed them, hesitant and confused if they should take action against a prominent political figure.

“I’m courting your Fire Lord,” Katara said, gesturing vaguely towards the balcony. “No one comes in.” She drew the curtains closed in front of their surprised faces.

Outside, the night air was warm. Framing the balcony opening were two iron braziers, fire burning low in their center. The balcony opened up to a view of the garden, where a pond and neat lines of rocks splayed symmetrically below them. In the distance, lanterns and fireworks lit the sweeping valley in a sheen of gold. The ballroom suddenly seemed far away, the idle chatter and festivities cordoned off by the white curtains, where the flames inside bled through the white fabric as light. Zuko’s back faced her.

“My mother and I used to feed the turtle-ducks down there,” Zuko said as Katara walked to his side, pointing to the pond, where a tree leaned elegantly from the over the water. This far, its leaves and reflection were so dark, they seemed black. Shadows on shadows on water. “I miss her.”

Katara’s hands went to her necklace, but she dragged her eyes from the sight, away from thinking of Zuko and the memory of their talk in a cave lined with green crystal. Their time in the cave seemed so long ago. A different lifetime. “Let me see the wound.”

Zuko peeled back his robes just enough for the scar to show through. Katara bended water from her pouch towards it, lighting the space between them in the mild, soft glow of healing. She checked through the layers of his flesh - from skin to muscle to bone - letting the water seep down and trace the scorched ruins of Zuko’s body. Firebenders ran naturally warm, but Katara always found herself surprised at the heat that emanated from their skin, as though one touch would turn the air around them into steam. Zuko’s was not exception.

“Told you - the physical damage was fixed.” She said finally, looking up and meeting Zuko’s eyes. They hurriedly turned away. “What did your fire healers say?”

“They, uh…”

Katara pulled away, slipping the water back into her pouch. “Don’t tell me you didn’t get this checked out after the battle. Your chi was completely out of balance.”

“I didn’t have time,” Zuko said. He tightened his robe and looked away. “The war was over and the Fire Nation needed to have a coronation. Balancing out my chi would have put me out of commission for a week.”

“That was _five years ago_.”

He shrugged. “Didn’t exactly want to take a vacation this early. I was going to get it checked out eventually, but I’m glad you checked the wound isn’t internally messed up or something.”

“Zuko.“ Katara slapped her forehead and sighed. Tui and La, the idiots she surrounded herself with. “This doesn’t mean you can leave it. The longer it stays like this, the more it’ll just knot in your system.”

“My father always said I was lucky to be born, and I’ve been lucky ten times over for even making it this far. I can fix this after we’ve leveled out more politically.”

“Are you hearing yourself?” Katara’s blood boiled. “Do you seriously think your people would want you to do this for them? You’re more thickheaded than I thought.”

Zuko’s nostrils flared. There was a crease in his eyebrows, familiar and angry and defensive.“I’m doing this for everyone. If I’m replaced or killed because people can’t take me seriously - what do you think that means for the rest of the world? I have to change things _now_.”

“And what if you die early anyways because of this? Or your bending grows stagnant? It’s the same problem. You die.” Katara jabbed a finger in his chest. “Did you even think what this would do to Aang? To me? To all the people who put their faith in you?”

“That’s why-“

“ _No_. You didn’t think. You were being a coward.” The water from the pond rippled as Katara glared up at him. “I thought you trusted us enough to know that we would have covered for you if you needed a week off. We’ve lost enough people.”

“That’s not fair, Katara.”

“It stopped being fair when a twelve year old was dragged into saving the world. Or when my mom died. When your father challenged you to the Agni Kai.” Katara closed her eyes against the familiar pain of remembering all that had been taken from them. Their whole youth was spent fighting fear. “That’s why we have to do better.”

Silence settled, thick with their own memories. Fireworks continued to blossom in the sky behind them. Slowly, the pounding in her ears died away, replaced by the crackling of the fire. Zuko took her wrists.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I was only doing what I was used to.”

“We care about you, dumbass.”

“I know. Trust me, I do.” He drew in a breath, and exhaled. It fell hot against their joined skin. The same heat as the fingers wrapped around her wrist. “But you’re right. If we’re going to restore balance, we have to do it together.”

They were close now, nearly pressed against one another. The moon was as yellow and swollen and whole as it was five years ago.

“I’m sorry too,” Katara said. “It wasn’t fair of me to bring up old hurts.”

“It’s okay.”

“And I definitely should have talked to you earlier than this.”

Zuko huffed. “Maybe. But I’m equally at fault there.”

Katara hesitated. They hadn’t spoken about this since the night of the Agni Kai. It had felt so small back then, against their victory. It loomed large now. “How did…how did it work out with Mai?”

“It didn’t. She was never one to be penned in. I think becoming Fire Lady would have stifled her.” Zuko coughed, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “I see you and Aang are still together.”

“We’re not. I love him, but…not in the way he had wanted me to.”

“Ah,” Zuko said.

“‘Ah,’ indeed.”

Clouds rolled in slowly.

“So what now?” Katara asked. She kept her voice low, as if saying the words only for them meant nothing else mattered. There was something as dangerous as hope lighting in the pit of her belly.

“I…I’m not sure how well the Fire Nation would take to a Water Tribe empress,” he said honestly. “Or even a mixed heir.”

She nodded, ignoring the hurt that rose in her. “I’m not sure how the Water Tribe would feel about it as well.”

“And there are political barriers. International etiquette. Borderlines to change and new leverages made. This is one thing - we’ll be gossiped about but…in the long term, we may very well just end up inflicting more pain on the people around us.”

“Not to mention the historic pain,” Katara added. “The elders would feel betrayed. Tui and La, I’m not sure how _I_ feel about it, honestly.”

For just a moment, the clouds covered the moon, plunging the Fire Nation palace in a palette of muted colors.

“There are a lot of old prejudices still here, Katara.”

“And there is so much suffering my people can never forgive.”

The only light came from the flames flickering in braziers, from the fireworks still blazing through the sky, from the reflections of both in Zuko’s gold eyes.

“So, we agree then? Not now.”

Zuko nodded. “Maybe not ever. At least, in this lifetime.”

Katara smiled. “We saved the world once, you know. Maybe we can do it again.”

“Maybe.” He paused. A hopeful expression crossed his face briefly. There and gone, a candlelight flame. “It could also be a matter of waiting. Someday. It doesn’t have to be now.”

“That’s true,” Katara agreed. Zuko’s eyes shone gold even in the night. “It doesn’t have to be now.”

Time stopped then.

Zuko leaned in. Katara rose to meet him. The fires died in their braziers. The festivities were coming to a close, and the sky was filled only with stars and the smoke of fireworks. When their lips touched, it was just the two of them, their bodies pressed together on the balcony. A promise, unseen.

For there are no firelords or waterbenders in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that many years down the road, after Zuko and Katara both retire from their positions as respected figures in the world, that they settle down in Ba Sing Se and manage the Jasmine Dragon together. I love the Agni Kai scene, but I've never been quite sure why Zuko couldn't just redirect the lightning - so I wanted there to be more weight to that wound. Zutara has never sat completely right with me because there's been limited interactions between the two characters + a lot of emotional and cultural baggage...but I also wanted to showcase these powerful teens in love, even with the world on their shoulders. I think this best showcases how I'd want their relationship to develop - young lovers, symbols of their time, waiting for themselves and the world to heal before jumping into anything. Also to note, there are many things going on in the world right now, and I stand with those who are fighting for change. I won't go too into detail since a lot of us use writing/reading to cope, but I wanted that sort of hope to be reflected here - that the world can change and heal and love. These things take time and continued effort. 
> 
> Comments are super super appreciated, as I am still trying to learn how to become a better writer! Let me know how you thought of the characters, their interactions, or just your general feelings on this piece. It would absolutely make my day. Thank you!


End file.
